


Iron Heart

by soliloquysfromintermission



Category: Hey Arnold!
Genre: F/M, I'm working through some issues, Identity Reveal, Iron Man AU, Secret Identity, a tiny bit angsty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-03-08 03:19:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13449435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soliloquysfromintermission/pseuds/soliloquysfromintermission
Summary: Helga G Pataki had a heart of iron. With people around her that were deceiving her at every turn, would you blame her?Iron Man 2 AU, with changes. Cause of reasons.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So. I got this stuck in my head and now I'm going to do this for reasons. 
> 
> I'm still working on Reconnecting, no worries. 
> 
> I just... HOW COULD I NOT. 
> 
> It's definitely a genre shift from Reconnecting but hey, Iron Man! Shooting things! Whoooooo.

If Helga G Pataki could be summarized in one word, it would be “Futurist.” It was also accurate to say that she could be summed up as, “Grumpy” or “Arrogant”, or even “Angry”. Once, her high school teacher had described her as, “Narcissistic to the point of angry arrogance.” She did like that one, had that report framed in her workshop to prove a point. Hah. Take that.

Right here and right now though, the woman was grinning ear to ear as she made a straight dive downwards from a plane, dodging left and right to avoid the exploding fireworks, diving straight down towards the exhibition hall, which opened up its ceiling just so she could land in the typical superhero landing, fist making contact on the ground, but gentle enough so it didn’t crack the floor. All while the hall was playing,” Shoot to Thrill” and tons of dancers wearing variations of the suit welcoming her. It was all about showmanship, of course. The crowd went wild, of course. She always did like making an entrance.  
  
Making sure she landed right on the panel she had designed especially for the suit, she was only assured when the panel raised out of its place to become a platform and spun around to reveal mechanical arms designed to remove parts of the armour. They removed the mask first, and Helga’s face made a, “Ooh, who me?” look which definitely gathered more cheers from the cheering crowd.  

All practised, of course. She had done this last night to make sure that she hit all the points, and Phoebe, her assistant who had made sure to attend every rehearsal and oversee every bit of the Pataki Expo, told her that she was doing fine, maybe cut down a little bit of the wink, might be overkill.

The final bit of the shiny suit was removed, revealing that Helga was wearing a well-tailored suit, white collar shirt unbuttoned enough to reveal that she was wearing a very strappy bra that crisscrossed over her chest in a very flattering fashion, somehow still showcasing the arc reactor nearly between her chest, and a suit jacket. Hair in a messy but chic bun, she looked surprised as a mechanical arm offered her a pair of heels that no matter what she did she just couldn’t adapt to the suit.  
  
She gave the crowd a look of, “Whoops!” as she put on the heels, saying, “Science just doesn’t account for fashion, huh?” amidst cheers and laughter. Inwardly, of course, she was rolling her eyes. All of this was rehearsed. She just made it look effortless. What engineer and inventor in their right mind would prioritize fashion over the subtleties and elegant beauty of mechanical engineering and A.I.?

She was grateful to Phoebe of course, for emphasizing a point that looking good did mean that people took you seriously and also helped to bring out your own confidence, making sure that Helga was comfortable in the clothes picked out. Persuading Helga to try on the heels just because it made her look taller and therefore more imposing in the crowd when giving the keynote speech was a nice touch, and Helga was grateful than ever that Phoebe did so. Yet she felt that every single bit of what was going on was just trifling and bothersome. Right now, she could be at home, playing fetch with NO- DOY and the other mechanical arms and ordering in mushu pork instead of this shallow gathering of fans and the greatest minds of their generation. She was getting a little weary, but at the same time, she was unwilling to give up the cheers sometimes. It fuelled her ego. Hey, get it where you can, right?  
  
She raised a hand to applaud the dancers as Shoot To Thrill finished playing and the dancers took a bow, and the applause was deafening. She could get used to this. She waited for the applause to die down just a little, and then she started on her speech, one that she worked hard all week to just get right and perform just so it looked effortless.  
  
It was never effortless, of course. It was all practice, work, and stubbornness to get things right.

That’s how she was a superhero after all. It took hard work to make things look good and it took years of practice to make it seem like she didn’t care at all, and it was her tenacity that made her unable to let go of things until everything worked perfectly. 

* * *

 Helga Pataki didn’t actually choose to be the Iron Lady, but hey, when you’ve been held hostage in a cave alongside the Ten Rings that have seized your own weapons to attack other villages for a few months while a scientist worked on your heart to make sure you stayed alive due to shrapnel caught in your chest that had to be fixed with what seemed to be in a car battery in your heart, it changed a few things.

For one thing: she doubted she could wear low cut dresses anymore.

For another, people were actually using Pataki tech to attack villages nearby the areas where the terrorist cell was operating. You had to do something when stuff happened like that. No matter how dastardly she was, even she had standards. Shutting down the weapons department of Pataki Corporation made sense.  
  
The other people disagreed. Stock prices plummeted. Newsmakers called her a chump and too easily led by her emotions. Investors threatened to leave. Patty, over in the army, tried to persuade her to change her mind, but when she didn’t, Patty left, dismayed, but silently proud of her best friend. If she was this determined by something, Helga could most definitely change the world.  
  
Sure, creating a metal suit that could shoot pulses of light, sound or whatever she chose and wearing it to stage an ad-hoc attack on terrorist cells and retrieve stolen tech was not something Patty was expecting but hey, Lt Patricia Smith was someone who could roll with the punches when possible, and when you deal with Helga Pataki, sometimes the punches were literal.  
  
The newspapers were ecstatic and when they found out after the Iron Monger attack that Pataki technology had something to do with the red and gold figure that flew through the sky, especially since there had been a huge showdown on Pataki Tech property, they wanted statements. Helga was supposed to claim that everything was alright, that Iron Man was a bodyguard employed to protect Ms Pataki since the kidnapping incident, and that the armour was designed by Pataki Corporation, and that was all the responsibility Pataki Corp had.

Instead, she went on the offensive. She happily took questions, insulted the reporters that insinuated that she was weak after the terrorist ring attack, and then, in a fit of anger to a reporter’s insinuation that she was using tricks in an effort to cover up the fact that she was incompetent and bad at her job running Pataki Corp, she declared that she herself was the one piloting the armour, and, “FYI, it ain’t Iron Man. Tricks are for kids, I’m a lady, so fuck you.”

The media loved that. She was declared a feminist icon, her armour was redubbed the Iron Lady, and she became the world’s most famous, and most out there, superhero.  
  
Hey, if she had to have her secrets revealed, at least she did it her way and with thunderous applause in the background.

That stunt cost her dearly, of course.

* * *

  
“What the hell are you thinking?” yelled Johanssen, who waved a bunch of files in her face. “Revealing yourself like that? Are you crazy? Are you that self-centred?”

She raised an eyebrow. “No doy, Johanssen. Weren’t you just an operative in some bureaucratic society of the sky or something? I was under the impression you worked for someone, Tall-Hair.”

“Me!” he yelled, “I worked for me! I’m the head of the organization of the bureaucratic society of the sky- stop calling it that!”

She raised her other eyebrow mockingly. “Man, Johanssen, if it weren’t for the fact that I’ve seen you wear a suit and pretend to be all nice and demure and try to flirt with my PA, I would be more intimidated by this get up you have on. What is this, your pleather S&M fantasy?” she studied him from head to toe. “If Rihanna needed an extra in that music video of hers, you should have called me, I have contacts- “

“Fuck you all the way to hell, Pataki.” Johanssen snarled. “You’re lucky there’s a hell load of great PR with what you’ve done, destroying Ludwig like that, and managing to root out the corporate spies working for Ludwig and all and restoring peace in the world from terrorism. You’re very lucky that your PR team, headed by your very talented assistant, is managing to spin the event as self-defence and that the media loves you now. But put one more step out of the line-“

Helga widened her eyes. “You’ll spank me, Mr Johanssen?” she said in a mock baby-ish voice.

“Stop being a brat, Pataki.” The man snapped back. “And it’s Director. Director Johanssen.” He sat down on the table, resigned. “We are very lucky, Pataki, “he said. “But you gotta learn how to trust sometimes, and be confident that we have your back.”

Helga stood up to leave. As she left, she tossed him something to think about. “I trusted someone once. He nearly got me and my best friend killed and tried to destroy my company, and you and I are here telling me that I’m screwed up because I don’t trust anyone?” She snorted. “Call me when you have a better proposal to go with, or if you’re planning to propose to Phoebe. Either way, I’m not doing what you want me to do, _Director_.”

* * *

 

She finished her speech to more thunderous applause, and after declaring the Expo opened, she went backstage, taking out a small device to measure her blood toxicity levels.  
  
25%. She sighed. It was 22% an hour ago. The poisoning must be spreading faster.

She had to do something soon, but then again, what else could she do? She had spent night after night in the labs and workshops searching for a cure, but the faster she kept burning through the palladium cores, the faster the toxicity of the element powering the arc reactors was coursing through her bloodstream. She could be dead soon. Maybe in a week, maybe a month. Maybe two. She wasn’t sure. 

She wondered what her father would say if he found out. She wondered how Olga would react. She was glad that her father had passed a long while ago and that Olga was somewhere in New York now living the rich, married socialite life. She wanted nothing to do with the family business, even now.

Helga hid the device in her pockets as soon as she heard Phoebe come up next to her, rattling off the next few things she had on her schedule. She made some sort of grumble that made Phoebe take pause for a minute to check on her, but she slapped her hand away and told her off, making up the excuse that her blood sugar was low and to find her a sandwich or something, fuck everything. Phoebe took that as normal and went off to search for any sort of food for her best friend and boss.

When she thought about it, she could almost laugh at the absurdity of the entire thing. Her best friend was someone she paid to listen to her, and her other best friend was someone in the military who needed to interact with her on a monthly basis to try and get something out of her.

She wondered if they would say something kind about her at her funeral. 

Well, that was what happened when you had the Pataki name attached to you from birth. Everyone wanted something from her and nothing was real. Only thing that mattered was keeping up appearances and nothing else. She grabbed a glass of liquor from a table and drank to keep herself steady. A nasty voice told her to keep drinking, just like her mom did. She nearly smashed the glass in despair, but instead swallowed the last of the amber liquid, and went to meet Phoebe, who was waiting for her with a pastrami sandwich.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Congress was an absolute fuck, and seriously all of the older white men could just go and fuck themselves. She came back to her house in Malibu, grumpy and sweltering in the summer heat.  
  
Damn this entire premise, she was going to die soon, would it KILL the weather to give her a win for once? She decided to retreat to one of the colder rooms in the Malibu house: the workshop. She’d be honest, she missed the bots, and she was in need of a smoothie soon, one that helped to reduce the toxic spread of poison in her bloodstream. NO-DOY was at the very least the smartest of the bots, and could make it for her, but she figured that the other arms would have to learn it at some point.  
  
“INGA, workshop please?” she yelled up.  
  
“Elevator waiting, madam.” a posh, British voice replied. She heaved a sigh of relief as she stepped into the elevator, feeling her tension slowly recede. She slowly began undoing the buttons of her dress shirt.  
  
She had originally wanted to imbue the AI with all the attributes of the real Inga, who had been her nanny for a few years. Helga had, in a fit of childhood impetuosity, managed to get her fired, only realizing that Inga was the only nanny, nay, the only person who actually cared about her.  
  
However, it made sense to not use Inga’s actual voice, because the Swiss-German accent would have driven her crazy. Not to mention that British voices were a standard, neutral standby that people would go for an AI, due to their perceived intelligence. If she were to input an accent in the AI, people would ask questions. Helga Pataki didn’t want to answer questions that hinted towards the personal.  
  
If anyone asked, INGA stood for Intelligent N Genius Assistant. Not many asked questions beyond that. Helga was strangely grateful.  
  
The elevator doors opened and Helga walked out of the elevator, keying in the code to her workshop and walking straight in.  
  
“ Mother has arrived!” she yelled out, finally taking off her shirt completely and tossing it to the floor. The bots came running in, all chirping and beeping as they greeted her, like three happy dogs. NO-DOY had grabbed her pant leg and was refusing to let go, while CRIMINI and BUCKO whirled around her.

” Alright, alright, you losers!” she yelled, amused. “ Leggo, I hate these pants, but you keep pulling, they’ll break- INGA, can you lower the temperature to acceptable levels?”

“ I could, but it might be good to specify what exactly acceptable levels are, Madam.”

"Hey, don’t make me come up there and start yanking wires out, “ Helga yelled back. The bots all withdrew, now seemingly terrified that she would actually do what she said. “ Traitors, all of you.” Helga pointed and pretended to be offended. “ Thank god we’re alone, otherwise people would actually think we love each other or something.”  
  
She finally took off her tight dress pants and stood in the middle of the room, dressed in nothing but a strappy bra and a pair of boy shorts. The good thing about living alone was the fact that no one else was around, so she could wear exactly what she wanted.  
  
“ Ahhhhhhhhh, good as new!” She yelled. “ INGA, assist NO-DOY in making the smoothie, we have work to do, like the fact that we need to figure out the schematics of the P Phones, and then maybe more repulsor tech, I think we need to up the firepower by 100% and consider more colours, RnD is KILLING ME-”  
  
She bent over to pick up an errant wrench as INGA opened up the schematics of the Mark 42 armour, displaying the schematics and all the specs.

Helga, who had her back turned towards the glass walls, was talking loudly to herself and the bots, while pacing around the workshop. ” -yeah, it makes absolutely no sense to add that feature in, NO-DOY I SAW YOU TRY AND ADD OIL IN THE MIX- NO! Don’t you look sad at me! Criminey, you would think that you would get the recipe by now- NO NOT YOU CRIMINI, SIT YOUR ASS DOWN-”  
  
It was then that Helga turned around and realised that there were two people now standing outside the glass walls of the workshop. One that she recognised and who was currently hiding her gaping mouth with her hand, and the other she did not recognise but would like to. ” Phoebe!” she yelped in surprise. “ What are you doing here!” Turning up to the ceiling, she yelled, “ INGA, WHY DIDN’T YOU WARN ME ABOUT VISITORS!”  
  
“ I’m sorry, madam, but I believe Ms Heyerdahl overrode my protocols by habit as she was too busy talking to her visitor right there,” INGA replied primly. Phoebe herself glared up at the ceiling, annoyed that the AI had betrayed her.  
  
“ Not the point,” Helga said, wielding a wrench at her PA. “Why are you here, who’s the manmeat, and do you know Congress is a bunch of shitheads? They’re doing absolutely nothing for our country-”

At this, the manmeat drew himself up to his tallest height, way taller than anyone Helga had ever dated and said in a loud voice. “ On the contrary, I believe Congress does everything for our country, and if we don’t have faith in our Congress, we might as well give up the fight.”  
  
Silence reigned between the three people in question. Helga was the first person to break the silence.  
  
“ Did he- did the manmeat just talk back to me?” she said in a mocking voice. “ INGA, did you get it? Video and audio?”  
  
“ Affirmative, madam.”  
  
“ Delicious. If we record this, we’ll be able to make a song out of it, and maybe even a viral video-”  
  
At that point, Phoebe knocked on the glass wall again, voice raised. Her voice was a little muffled, but audible, “ Helga G Pataki, we can talk about you making fun of the representative from Legal later, but in the meantime, open the door and put on some clothes, you’re making the poor man blush!”  
  
Helga looked down and realised that Phoebe had a point, meeting someone in her underwear was something that only worked if they were both in a hotel room. And one of them was massaging scented oils into the other person’s back. And front. And over and under and-  
  
Phoebe was narrowing her eyes, and Helga decided that it would be a good idea not to make mom mad. 

* * *

Manmeat, it turned out, was actually a tall drink of water known as Arnold Feldman. He had annoying blonde hair slicked back, a shit body so well-built that Helga figured she could bounce a quarter off his taut butt, and terribly beautiful arms. The only drawback was the fact that he had a weird shaped head and the fact that he was a very very wet-blanket.  
  
That she sort of still kind of wanted wrapped around her 24-7 a day while feeding her grapes, but that was not the point.  
  
Feldman was apparently a relatively new hire and was sent by the Law Department to get a contract that needed both Helga’s signature and Phoebe’s vetting. Phoebe had decided to get him to travel with her to the Malibu mansion just so Feldman could get them both done at the same time. The diminutive personal assistant had told her so while Helga put on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt bought from one of the resorts she went to. She was pretty sure it was universal. They had some sort of yellow cartoon character on it.  
  
“ So why did you bring him down to the workshop, Pheeburino?” Helga said, dramatically holding her chest. “I don’t pay you to bring my employees around and give them a tour like Cribs. “  
  
“ Sorry!” The personal assistant squeaked. Though she was a PA with a PhD in biomechanics and a degree in business, Phoebe still elected to apply for the personal assistant job when Helga put the ad out. Helga had to admit she wasn’t super impressed by Phoebe at first, but after a very long interview with Phoebe , and Helga finally asked her what Phoebe would be able to offer the company, Phoebe, who was also tired, and near tears, replied,”I’m a very emotional person, but when I get on something, I stay on something. “

This was something she had proven time and time again throughout the years and though Phoebe had become more self-assured and more confident, she still was Helga’s number 1 confidant after Patty, the one that worked side-by-side with her and helped her create the best of what could be. Helga could safely say that Phoebe was the only reason Pataki Corp could even be the juggernaut it was today.

It did spark a small thought in her head and stayed there when Phoebe started fussing over Helga and the paperwork again.  
  
“And I must admit that Arnold has managed to help out the law group with their issues, do you know je’s managed to break up several disputes and also work on getting compensation for the villages affected by the Ten Rings-‘

“Pheebs. How long have you worked here?”

Phoebe stopped short, but replied slowly. “Around 9 years, Helga.”

Helga collapsed on the lounging chair she kept in the workshop. “And do you…see yourself working here forever?”

The tiny Japanese woman was now looking more confused than ever. “Helga, are you alright?”

“Psh, please.” Helga waved a hand dismissively. “What’s most important is you right now. Tell me your dreams and your secrets.”

Phoebe put some of the papers down and walked over to place a hand on Helga’s forehead. “You’re a little feverish-“ she murmured, taking out her phone to text for a doctor.

“Pheebs, you’ve been my rock, my foundation, my NO-DOY when I need one. “The bot itself perked up when it registered that Helga said it’s name, but then shuffled away when it was clear there was no operative command at hand at the moment. “You’re my hands and you practically oversee the company. I’ve been thinking about the legacy of Pataki Corp and… you need to lead it as CEO.”

Phoebe dropped her phone mid-text. “No!”

“Phoebe, it’s only you, you’re the one with the know-how,”

“But it’s YOUR company!”

“I barely run it anymore, I show up at meetings and look cute but bored-“

“I’m just an assistant!”

“With a PhD, you absolute ninny, who gets a PA job when they have that in their pocket!”

“I can’t run the company, I don’t have the temperament!”

“And I do?” Helga looked up at Phoebe then. “We both know I’m terrible, and I would rather be somewhere alone, tinkering with tech. Which reminds me, I’ll probably still be head of tech and RnD, you just need to look through and support my ideas, I think we can go to the field and test out some of these things. I’m planning to create some sort of patch that prevents period cramps, whaddya think?”

Phoebe was still gaping at her boss, her boss currently offering her Pataki Corp, one of the biggest multi-billion dollar enterprises in the world. “I’m not a Pataki, what would the shareholders say, what would your father say?”

Helga jumped up. “Firstly, Big Bobbo ain’t head of the company, and he ain’t here no more. Secondly, the shareholders actually like you. I’m still the owner, I just want you to head it. And Pheebs. I think-fuck that. I KNOW you can do it. “

Phoebe looked like she wanted to protest some more, so Helga waved her off. “Look, think about it, I’ll be around till Tuesday, and then I want you to accept it. You’re the best employee I have ever had, and I know you can do it.

When Phoebe left, mulishly still not accepting Helga’s offer, and took Arnold Feldman with her after getting the necessary documents signed, Helga picked up the phone to contact the Law Department.  
  
She wanted to get a few things in her will changed, for one thing, making sure that Phoebe had 100% ownership of Pataki Corp should Helga ever pass on. The law people were pretty efficient and headed by Rhonda Wellington-Lloyd, who always got what she wanted, which in this case was anything Helga asked her to do. They would get the paperwork done by Tuesday, and she would get Phoebe to accept being the company CEO by then. She was very sure she could do it.  
  
Some would say that what she was planning was not a good idea, and that Pataki Corp needed a sensible CEO. She would counter that since Pataki Corp had her and her father as previous CEOs, they were due for a proper, perfect CEO. Phoebe was someone smart, tenacious, and for someone like her to stay with Helga after so many years, she deserved a promotion that befitted her status. At least she could do something to make amends for all the years of shit she threw at her. Helga was in the position to do so and she would make sure that her final gift to Phoebe would be one that showed her how much she loved and appreciated her.

The phone finally clicked and Helga smiled. “Rhonda! Change of plans-“


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: PTSD, mentions of night terrors. Some of the stuff Helga says could very well be sexual harassment, so please do take note when coming in to read this. Helga gets very explicit with some of the stuff she says.

Phoebe refused to talk to her for a week after Helga finalised the transfer of CEO to her.   
  
Well, it was understandable. Phoebe had profoundly refused the role at first but Helga, in her usual hardheaded way, kept going at it until Phoebe finally agreed. It was not the best way to do it, honestly. In a perfect world Phoebe would accept the role willingly and the transfer would have been smooth and quick. Thanks to Phoebe’s earlier protests the CEO transfer took two weeks longer than expected.  
  
Once again, she had to thank her lucky stars for hiring a cut-throat lawyer like Rhonda Wellington Lloyd. When her old childhood nemesis back in high school came to her office one day asking for a job, Helga had at first refused her but her dogged determination to get any role in the company and much cajoling from Ludwig had meant that Helga finally threw her hands up and pulled some strings. Rhonda then started a job working for the Legal department in Pataki Corporation , and throughout time was promoted to Head of Department. During the Ten Rings debacle she was the one Helga trusted to start the paperwork to close weapons manufacture and had once, when Helga was looking over the papers to finalise the closing, stood at the corner dawdling until Helga barked at her to say something, for fuck’s sake.  
  
It wasn’t natural for the normally poised and snobbish HOD of Legal to look apprehensive, but she took a deep breath and said, “ For what it’s worth, Pataki. My family has lost men to the war and what you’re doing…I think it’s amazing. Don’t doubt your choices.”   
  
That was one of the nicest things she had heard since she had announced the closure, and she would have broken down and cried, but old habits made her keep her composure. “I never do, Rhonda.” She said curtly, making sure to keep her eyes to the right of Rhonda so that she wouldn’t have to make any eye contact with her. Vulnerability was not the Pataki way, her traitorous brain would whisper.   
  
Rhonda had paused a little, but turned around and left. They had never spoken of that experience since, but they had both gained a measure of respect for each other.

So thanks to Rhonda, Phoebe Johannsson was now the CEO and future owner of the company. The second part only Rhonda and Helga knew, of course. And thank god Rhonda understood the importance of secrets.   
  
Helga was hoping against hope that Phoebe would start talking to her again like they used too. At the moment, Phoebe would only talk to her when necessary, such letting her know her schedule, making sure she made it to meetings, and signing paperwork. A part of her had regretted doing this but Phoebe would understand, she had to understand. It was a matter of time, and her time was running out. If this was going to be her legacy, she wanted to make sure it went to good hands. Pataki Corporation seemed cursed under the hands of anyone with Pataki blood, and it was time for a change.   
  
Right now she was getting ready for a boxing session in her home gym, and the boxing instructor was prepping her for practice, doing quick warmups before the session started. She herself was wrapping bandages around her hands when she heard footsteps across the gym, two sets. She lifted her head and smiled a little when she saw it was Phoebe but then let it drop a little when she realised that Phoebe was once again in the company of the blonde football headed manmeat from awhile ago.   
  
Faking a wide grin, she called out, “ Pheebs! Manmeat! Welcome to my gym!”   
  
Manmeat had rolled his eyes in exasperation, but called out, “ Once again, ma’m, I don’t appreciate the nickname. Please address me by my actual name.”   
  
Helga faked a long, exasperated sigh. “ Fine….Football Head, welcome!”   
  
Football Head sighed.

She didn’t actually forget his name, of course. Her memory stored away names like a squirrel in the winter, thanks to her father insisting she made social appearances with her family, and long hours of social training memorizing names of all her father’s business associates and partners. Sometimes Ludwig would join him, and the time she spent under hard tutelage from her father grilling her was sometimes met with sympathetic glances and an encouraging word from Ludwig-  
  
_Nope. Nope. No thinking of the rat bastard that tried to betray her and steal her company under her nose. No thinking of the man that was the closest thing she had to a father besides Big Bob. Nope nope nope nope nope. Bury that memory into the ground, find a way to replace it-_  
  
“ So, Football Manmeat-“ she began, deciding in the split second that the only way to distract herself and maintain a bit of normalcy was a little bit of harmless flirting. “ What does it take for you to take off that jacket and show me how much you can bench press? Especially if you can do it shirtless.”

Bingo, Feldman was blushing like mad right now, and it had the added benefit of getting Phoebe to look at her with something other than civil politeness.  “ Helga, get off Feldman’s back, he’s not used to you doing that.”   
  
“ Oh really?” Helga said, pretending to muse over Phoebe’s words. “ He’s into that? Well, I could say that I am experienced in getting people used to me from the back…and if he’s not used to the pressure, I could go…slow. Let him get used to it…”

She could totally light a cigar from his face burning right now. She liked that. And it helped that Phoebe rolled her eyes and some of the exasperation showed in her face. “ Stop teasing the newbies, Helga. He’s a good worker, Rhonda actually thinks he has a future.”   
  
Well, that was actually impressive. Rhonda never liked newbies, she thought they were all imbeciles. Considering the fact that he had only just arrived, that was a record. “For real?” She said, dropping a little of the playful tone she had earlier, and looking at the man straight in the eyes. “ That’s actually good work. Rhonda takes ages to like the new people in the department, even if she hired them herself. You’ll have a future here.”   
  
That made Feldman tilt his head in confusion for a split second and Helga rolled her eyes internally, it really shouldn’t be that surprising that she was capable of praise and encouragement. She was a bitch due to careful cultivation and long years of practice, but not that much of a bitch that she didn’t recognise good work. But then Feldman smiled, and goddamn if his smile didn’t actually light something up in her head. “ Thank you, that…means a lot to me, Ms Pataki.”   
  
Phoebe walked over to her just then, passing her a sheaf of papers. “ I just need your signatures to confirm the final …transfer of the CEO position…” she said, and it didn’t escape Helga’s notice that she had paused right before the word transfer, and that did stab at Helga’s heart a little, the fact that Phoebe was still angry at the fact that Helga making another impulsive decision. However, Phoebe did look at her just then, and quietly said, “ I …don't understand why you are doing this. But I just want you to know that ultimately, I will stand by your decisions. You should know this.”   
  
Helga felt her heart leap straight into her throat and she nearly lost control right there, she was so close to confessing to Phoebe exactly what was going on, why she was doing this, and that she was so so so afraid, sometimes she woke up in the middle of the night gasping for air, that no matter how much she tried to breathe she still couldn’t get rid of the heaviness on her chest that she knew was not solely because of the core that was killing her, that she couldn’t look at her jacuzzi anymore without reliving the PTSD, but luckily, she steeled herself. Patakis had iron will and iron hearts, and in her case, she had both. Just because she was female didn’t mean she was not going to live up to that.   
  
So instead she went to a road she knew would never let her down: pretending she didn’t care, and being a playful perv. “ Yeah, well…since you’re leaving…I think I would need a new assistant. “ She smirked and gestured towards the blonde man currently standing in the corner looking at the boxing ring with longing. “ And I want him.”   
  
“ Helga, please, Rhonda will kill you if you sleep with anybody from her Legal Department!” Phoebe cried.   
  
“ Who says I want to sleep with anybody from Legal?” Helga said, eyes widening in false innocence. “ They’re usually pompous shitheads. I want to sleep with my new PA, and I think he’s the one.”   
  
The look on Phoebe’s face was priceless and if it were not for the fact that Helga didn’t have a camera, she would have taken a photo of Phoebe’s face right there and then. She laughed. “ Relax, Pheebs.” She said, loosening her shoulders. “ How long has it been since my last sexcapade?”   
  
“ One year, seven months and three days.” Phoebe rattled off automatically. “ I had to chase off that reporter that was trying to mosey around Pataki Corp, remember?”   
  
“ Yeah, once again, thank you for looking after me and my sins, Pheebs.” Helga said carelessly. “ I promise you, sex is not what I am looking for at the moment.” Due to her night terrors, she rarely let people sleep over at her place anymore, and she didn’t even feel like a casual romp in the closet anymore. Sex with another person really wasn’t something she was super interested in at the moment, and she could do more with a good imagination and a vibrator that she had made herself when she was bored and drunk.  
  
Anything was better than letting someone else see the façade drop when she was alone and couldn’t let her armour do the fighting for her.   
  
She continued, brushing past the darker thoughts, “ I want a good PA, and for all the bad shit I have ever done, you were the best one, and nobody can ever fill your shoes. However, Rhonda likes him, and she is one of the most finicky bitches I have ever met.”   
  
“ Helga-“   
  
“ Tell me honestly, then.” Helga challenged. “ You’ve seen his work. How’s he like?”   
  
Phoebe sighed, and Helga knew her impromptu bargain was about to pay off. “ He’s meticulous,” Phoebe said. “ Very careful in his work, detail-oriented. He spends hours making sure terms and conditions are written perfectly, his grammar is good, meets deadlines way before the actual time. His work desk is tidy, so he’s well organized. Very well-liked by co-workers, eloquent speaker, speaks five languages…”   
  
“ Five?” Helga raised an eyebrow.  That was interesting. “ What is he, some kind of genius?”   
  
“ Well, he doesn’t like to talk about it.” Phoebe began. “ His file only said three, but I know he speaks Russian because we did have a few investors doing a tour here and he happened to be nearby, so he helped do a bit of translation here and there. And the German bit I know because he bumped into me and Gerald when we were at the German restaurant and he was speaking to the hostess in perfect German. I did ask about it, but he was quite modest, only said something about how he picked it up here and there when he was working in Europe in his youth-“

Well, well. Arnold Feldman was full of surprises. She waggles her eyebrows at Phoebe. “ Pheebs, come on. You have to let me have him.”   
  
“ Helga please no-“   
  
“ I wonder if the boy genius is good at anything else…” Helga said thoughtfully. “ I wouldn’t mind seeing him do something …physical.”   
  
“ Oh please don’t let this be another sexual harassment suit.” She could hear Phoebe whisper dolefully behind her back. She could almost laugh.   
  
“ Feldman!” she called out, from across the room. She took a spare pair of boxing gloves from her instructor, tossed them to Feldman with little warning, and went to get her own. He had great reflexes, and it was such a shame she really didn’t feel up to actually having some hot sweaty sex with anyone, he looked like he could take anything she threw at him. Or at least strong enough to fuck her against the wall. If Phoebe was right in her assessment, he was probably the type who would be attuned to his lovers needs and would even go down on her, but once again, she really wasn’t interested.

“ Glove up.” She said instead. “ You were looking at the boxing ring like it dumped you on your wedding day. You box some?”   
  
Feldman looked surprised, but he caught himself quickly and said. “ Yeah, I do some. Helps me relax.”   
  
“ Fantastic.” She said. “ Take off your jacket. I want to see you sweat.”   


* * *

 

Five minutes later, Helga could fairly well say she was more than impressed.   
  
“ When I said I wanted your jacket off and wanted you sweating, was this what you were expecting, manmeat?” she teased breathlessly, lying face up on the mat, panting. She was pretty sure she had a heavily bruised shoulder, but he was decent a good boxer.

He had clearly held back way more when they both started, but once Helga actually started gaining some good shots at his chest, he started letting go and got a few good shots of his own. He was careful not to hit the direct middle of the chest (And Helga was pretty thankful for that, the arc reactor was acting up so much she herself couldn’t predict when it would burn out), but he got a few decent shots at her shoulder, and once even at her face. He was absolutely mortified when the glove connected with her cheek, but Helga didn’t blame him. Feldman was clearly still holding back, yet he had a good stance and was clearly well-trained boxing wise. She wanted to know who trained him, he was clearly well-disciplined and his footwork was good.   
  
“ Ms Pataki, I am so sorry-“ Feldman began, as he rushed over to her to check if she was alright.   
  
“Oh criminy, fuck that shit.” She snapped. She raised an arm  and Feldman, taking a cue, reached over with his own to pull her up to her feet. “ Firstly, don’t apologise. I asked you to box with me and I knew what I was getting into. You’re really good, by the way, though you are a little out of practice, I expect to see improvement on that.”   
  
She had to smile when his face dropped into a look of shock. Clearly, he wasn’t expecting that. “ Improvement?”   
  
She took a few seconds to loosen her shoulders, crack her neck a little. “ Well, yeah. “ She turned back to look at him in the face. “ That was a test, and don’t look at me all shocked and doe-eyed, I’m surprised that it was a test too. You clearly have what it takes to work at Pataki Corporations, and I think Legal is really not the best place for your talents.”  Turning to Phoebe, who had been seated at the corner watching the entire display, she grinned. “ Pheebs!” she called out. “ It’s official! I want him!”   
  
Phoebe merely sighed, but nodded, way too used to her boss’s shenanigans. Feldman was still where he was, looking shocked. “ Want me?”   
  
“ No doy, Football Head. But don’t worry, I don’t want you for your pretty body. Well, actually I do need you for your body, but also your brains and your work etiquette.” She grabbed a towel the instructor had placed near her end of the boxing ring. “ You’re going to be my new PA. How does that sound?”   
  
Feldman still looked like he was very boggled over what had just transpired, but he then squared his shoulders, looked at her straight in the eye, and said. “ Fine. But if I take the job, you have to stop calling me Manmeat.”   
  
Helga shrugged. “ Suits me fine, Football Head.”   
  
“ And I want you to call me by my actual name once in awhile.” He continued.   
  
Helga laughed, “ Also fine by me, though you are welcome to do the same to me when we’re alone and need something to release the tension, Arnold Feldman. If needed, you can say my name multiple times, I’ve been told I respond very well to repetition. ”   
  
Feldman blushed, Phoebe face-palmed and Helga grinned.   
  
Goddamn was it fun to have someone to play with in the last few months before she died.

**Author's Note:**

> Review if you want to, leave a note and tell me how you like it!


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